Did you think I was "make"?

Ho, Brah,
I no post so long, you tink I was “make”?
No, Sistah, Braddah, I stay live. Still teach Pearl City High School, where I goin’get one education. I may learn to swear like a local, but never with such panache. I told a student this morning that it was too early for the F-word. Anyone who swears or drinks before noon must be addicted to something. Actually, I don’t speak pidgin well at all, but I like to play at it. My students laugh when I try, but, still, I try. If can, can. If no can, no can.

I have been lying in bed tonight, with thoughts pouring through my mind, like grain through a hopper. Some of them seemed very profound, but once I turned the computer on, they disappeared into questions. Recently life has been a series of “yes, it’s worth it,” and “no, it’s not.” There is an ocean between me and those people that I love, I cannot seem to get my man on this side of it, and my best little friend left yesterday, on his way to North Carolina, an ocean and a continent away. He said, "I'll never see you again." I laughed and pretended he was coming back, 6 feet tall, and I was a crippled, old lady. "Noah," I cackled, "Do you want to boogie board with me?" He gave me his Clubhouse Membership card so I won’t forget him. It wasn’t necessary. I would have remembered him forever without it.

We are currently working on short story fictions in my summer school class. I use whatever pops into my head to try to teach them to use theirs. To demonstrate the difference between a “flat” character and a “round” character, I drew, rather sloppily, the yen and the yang sign on the board. They were familiar with it, of course. I explained that this demonstrated a “round” character, because it had both light and dark, but if you remove one side, the symbol would fall flat; it would be one-sided. One thought that was plaguing my sleep is that I was born to be a round character. My yen has not overcome my yang, or my yang my yen. There was a flat point in my life, a time when I clung to the old ways and thought familiar thoughts. I wanted approval from the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, all rolled up into one living person, my father. But I could never be “flat” enough. My destiny was spherical in nature. Unfortunately, roundness is not really appreciated. How long can you keep a jawbreaker in your mouth? It cannot be done. I have never met a jawbreaker that died a natural dissolution. They are, without exception, either bitten or spewed.

I can accept this fate, but I need to warn the other round people. Roll away, quickly! If you’re going to be bitten or spewed, at least find a warm place in the sun to meet your fate.